Thanks for this story. I realize it's fiction, but you got it. You understood the deep pain.
I connected with this story on several levels. I was a single parent for years, then married a single parent who's spouse died. So I relate to your daughter and both their reluctance to speak about her mother. Also the 'how to be a parent when I don't know how' bit. Sometimes it takes a real loss to force us to step into parenting.
Thank you for the generous and kind words, Tree. I'm happy you found the story genuine. That means I'm doing something right. I appreciate your taking the time to read it.
As a woman who lost her Daddy at the age of twelve, no matter how many times a little girls says “I hate you Daddy, it is never true. I now after reading this beautiful story, am still realizing how little Mother even tried with My sisters and me. My sisters being - 10 & 7 years older may have been old enough to understand it, at twelve my whole world ended when he died.
Never did mother console me as the one still living at home. Never did she talk about him. The man who adored each one of us. I was definitely a daddy’s baby and it felt like he had been a figment of my imagination. He was my world.
This story touched my heart so deeply.
Thank you
May I ask if this is a true story? If so I am sorry for your loss, and you are doing it right.
This is not a true story and I feel terrible that I've misled so many people into believing so. Typically the phrase “short story” automatically means it is fiction. I made the mistake of assuming everybody would know that. I have since added “fiction” to the subtitle. However, I think I am going to add bold text in the opening remarks another note because while I write this comment, more notifications are coming in from people who think the story is true. Oy. The daughter and father are loosely based on myself and my daughter, but her mother is very much alive, and though difficult at times, she is a wonderful person. I can assure you, though, that the emotions in the story came from somewhere. Every fictional tale has some truth to it.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your father at such a young age. That couldn't have been easy. If there is one thing I have learned and know for sure it is that girls love and need their dads.
You can make an art form out of it. You mention you are changing the title or subtitle. I incorporate the title and subtitle into the total art project. When I do literary stuff, I CALL it "literary work." The title itself can have all sorts of weird repercussions. Do not just title it in an ordinary/traditional way, as if you are writing for the hard cover book market or putting a formal "title" to a serious piece. Play with the title and subtitle aspect as well.
This was absolutely amazing! I adored every single line that was written. I laughed, teared up, leaning on the edge of my seat so invested on what you and your daughter would say to each other next. Favorite short story I've read so far, no doubt.
Thank you so much. Just to be clear, this story is fiction. The daughter and father are, of course, loosely based on myself and my daughter, but her mother is very much alive. Maybe you know that. Just clarifying. I'm happy you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
I appreciate the compliment, Adam. You know, I almost emphasized that this was fiction in my opening remarks and opted not to. Actually, I think I forgot.
Wow. That had me in tears so many times. Just one thing - in the extended conversation pieces, it became confusing who was talking, especially as they seemed to like switching back on each other. Don’t stop at emails, you could make a book from this.
I was homless and an alcoholic 6 years ago here in Colorado. Pulling around my wet luggage with a large black beard and nowhere to go.
This woman in her 60’s picked me up one day and asked me if i could paint. I said yes. I worked for her and her husband for about three months then they asked me to move in. They lived in an almost million dollar home in a culdesac full of million dollar homes. She bought me clothes, a phone, and a puppy i named Sprocket.
Eventually, last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time in her life. She survived but it cost her and her husband all their savings and they had to close their painting business.
They moved in to the basement of their daughters new house finally today 10/17. I was so sad i quit work early today so i could get on substack and see what i am lacking and how i can improve as a writer.
Her husband thought of retiring last year but i guess cancer treatments are expensive so he found a job as a janitor at his little granddaughters elementary school, again, just today he was officially hired.
I started my own painting company with their help last year but it is very difficult. I can work all damn day, but i can’t run a business. I love to write more than anything and when i heard about Substack and how so many people were making lots of money as writers i joined immediately. Honestly, i hope to make enough money to get them back into their own house that they are renting out now. They got me sober and helped me start a business.
I hope it is something that i can achieve as a way to say thank you for all you have done for me. December will be 2 calendar years sober at 41, the only two years since i was 17.
Yes, it’s true, i joined Substack for the money.
Best wishes and thank you for all you do for the Substack community. You’re the best.
Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. You and I share similar, though very different, stories. Thank you for sharing yours with me. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
Hmm, this story would probably make a great short television video, and receive a great following with a lot of views.
You have made a delicious comedic statement about small vignettes capturing the funny anecdotes of life. There appears to be a sense of timing that I really like with the comebacks believable and apt, without obvious punchlines and still remaining funny to imagine.
I confess this is the first time I have read any of your work, and to be honest I wish I had your imagination. I am also an author and hail from the UK under many different pen-names. Thank you for making me grin, (the wife thinks I am writing something smutty)...
Corey, thank you for sharing this. Try to not overthink. (I know, I know!) This is worthy material. It feels like it comes from your heart rather than your head. Maybe it's okay to follow that lead? At any rate, well done!!
I started writing, bumped the side of the page then realized this was the story that made me fall in love with your writing. So good it HAD to be real.
Your style is how I wish I could write.
I started my comment whining about RA stealing my hands and decided there ARE ways to write without using them!
Look Mom No Hands (dating myself I do believe)
I love your writing so very much & each time I read one I want more before finishing it (like playing n the rain. ; ))
Thank you for the kind words, Kathleen. This is the best story I've ever written so far, but it is not good enough, by my standards, to be officially published (I don't think). I would like to put together a collection of stories someday, and if I ever used any stories from my Substack, I would undoubtedly spend hours revising them. I'm happy you liked it. That makes me happy.
Touching. I am the father of 2 only-child daughters. One is 38 this coming November and the other will be turning 4 the day after Christmas. So, 2 daughters, both 'only children'. Maybe it's that "only" part which makes the relationship between the father and daughter in your story so relatable for me. It is unique, I believe, that flavor of relationship. So sweet and personal, and yet, at the same time, there is this unstated acknowledgement by both that they are very different types of creatures and will always be relating across this gulf. How sweet! How innocent! How profound! We love each other - they speak across the gulf - with all our hearts, and we even trust each other, and still here is this gulf which we will always be reaching across to stay connected. With my 38 year old, I misplayed my hand in some serious ways, and the gulf is sometimes wide as an ocean. With my almost 4 year old, I have hope that I have learned from my misplays.
I spend too much of my time worrying I will “misplay” my hand at some point when my daughter is older. That growing separation scares me, even the organic separation that will happen as she matures.
I've come to think it's not possible to do it without screwing up, given our own conditioning, traumas, and trigger points. In the case of my older daughter, things were relatively easiest between say age 6 and 11 or 12. With adolescence came that organic separation you mention. A push/pull which has never abated.
I believe you're right. I mean, there are too many choices in a day to always make the right call. None of us know what we are doing in life or parenthood. We're all winging it. We learn from our mistakes, hopefully, but new challenges arise daily, hourly. My daughter is near the turning point, on the cusp, and soon will be less interested in me, I fear. Only so much I can do.
Beautiful piece. So much emotion and understanding in spite of (or because of?) the lack of personal experience from the author. I also don't personally relate, so I can't comment on accuracy or realism. But the emotion, the conflict, the universal humanity, within the story is what resonates. Your ability to understand and empathize with non-personal experiences is admirable. I can't wait to read more of your work. Thank you for making this free to read.
Hello Corey, I am not much of a reader, specially fiction(it never interested me) until I saw your title, it got me hooked and i started reading. The more i read, the more i lost my grip on reality, and I couldn't hold my tears. The moment I finished reading, I was frantically going through the comments only to know if it was real,and your reply has given me a sigh of relief. The story felt real, the true mark of a good writer. I wish you a great success in your writing career. I've bookmarked you and I am looking forward to your next work. Fiction indeed is good..
Thanks for this story. I realize it's fiction, but you got it. You understood the deep pain.
I connected with this story on several levels. I was a single parent for years, then married a single parent who's spouse died. So I relate to your daughter and both their reluctance to speak about her mother. Also the 'how to be a parent when I don't know how' bit. Sometimes it takes a real loss to force us to step into parenting.
Thank you for the generous and kind words, Tree. I'm happy you found the story genuine. That means I'm doing something right. I appreciate your taking the time to read it.
As a woman who lost her Daddy at the age of twelve, no matter how many times a little girls says “I hate you Daddy, it is never true. I now after reading this beautiful story, am still realizing how little Mother even tried with My sisters and me. My sisters being - 10 & 7 years older may have been old enough to understand it, at twelve my whole world ended when he died.
Never did mother console me as the one still living at home. Never did she talk about him. The man who adored each one of us. I was definitely a daddy’s baby and it felt like he had been a figment of my imagination. He was my world.
This story touched my heart so deeply.
Thank you
May I ask if this is a true story? If so I am sorry for your loss, and you are doing it right.
This is not a true story and I feel terrible that I've misled so many people into believing so. Typically the phrase “short story” automatically means it is fiction. I made the mistake of assuming everybody would know that. I have since added “fiction” to the subtitle. However, I think I am going to add bold text in the opening remarks another note because while I write this comment, more notifications are coming in from people who think the story is true. Oy. The daughter and father are loosely based on myself and my daughter, but her mother is very much alive, and though difficult at times, she is a wonderful person. I can assure you, though, that the emotions in the story came from somewhere. Every fictional tale has some truth to it.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your father at such a young age. That couldn't have been easy. If there is one thing I have learned and know for sure it is that girls love and need their dads.
Thank you for sharing your story with me.
You can make an art form out of it. You mention you are changing the title or subtitle. I incorporate the title and subtitle into the total art project. When I do literary stuff, I CALL it "literary work." The title itself can have all sorts of weird repercussions. Do not just title it in an ordinary/traditional way, as if you are writing for the hard cover book market or putting a formal "title" to a serious piece. Play with the title and subtitle aspect as well.
to continue, here is another easy way to say it: You should write a good story. But write a good story for the "Internet"
All good points, Jacob. Thank you for the feedback.
This was absolutely amazing! I adored every single line that was written. I laughed, teared up, leaning on the edge of my seat so invested on what you and your daughter would say to each other next. Favorite short story I've read so far, no doubt.
Thank you so much. Just to be clear, this story is fiction. The daughter and father are, of course, loosely based on myself and my daughter, but her mother is very much alive. Maybe you know that. Just clarifying. I'm happy you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Thanks for the clarification, it just goes to show that fiction stories, if written well, can feel so real. You captured that in my eyes, thank you.
I appreciate the compliment, Adam. You know, I almost emphasized that this was fiction in my opening remarks and opted not to. Actually, I think I forgot.
Wow. That had me in tears so many times. Just one thing - in the extended conversation pieces, it became confusing who was talking, especially as they seemed to like switching back on each other. Don’t stop at emails, you could make a book from this.
Thank you for the feedback. I am happy you enjoyed it.
I was homless and an alcoholic 6 years ago here in Colorado. Pulling around my wet luggage with a large black beard and nowhere to go.
This woman in her 60’s picked me up one day and asked me if i could paint. I said yes. I worked for her and her husband for about three months then they asked me to move in. They lived in an almost million dollar home in a culdesac full of million dollar homes. She bought me clothes, a phone, and a puppy i named Sprocket.
Eventually, last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time in her life. She survived but it cost her and her husband all their savings and they had to close their painting business.
They moved in to the basement of their daughters new house finally today 10/17. I was so sad i quit work early today so i could get on substack and see what i am lacking and how i can improve as a writer.
Her husband thought of retiring last year but i guess cancer treatments are expensive so he found a job as a janitor at his little granddaughters elementary school, again, just today he was officially hired.
I started my own painting company with their help last year but it is very difficult. I can work all damn day, but i can’t run a business. I love to write more than anything and when i heard about Substack and how so many people were making lots of money as writers i joined immediately. Honestly, i hope to make enough money to get them back into their own house that they are renting out now. They got me sober and helped me start a business.
I hope it is something that i can achieve as a way to say thank you for all you have done for me. December will be 2 calendar years sober at 41, the only two years since i was 17.
Yes, it’s true, i joined Substack for the money.
Best wishes and thank you for all you do for the Substack community. You’re the best.
Think Dragon.
Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. You and I share similar, though very different, stories. Thank you for sharing yours with me. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
Hmm, this story would probably make a great short television video, and receive a great following with a lot of views.
You have made a delicious comedic statement about small vignettes capturing the funny anecdotes of life. There appears to be a sense of timing that I really like with the comebacks believable and apt, without obvious punchlines and still remaining funny to imagine.
I confess this is the first time I have read any of your work, and to be honest I wish I had your imagination. I am also an author and hail from the UK under many different pen-names. Thank you for making me grin, (the wife thinks I am writing something smutty)...
Ha. Your parenthetical remark at the end made me chuckle. I appreciate the thoughtful comment, Skip. Happy writing.
Simultaneously funny and heart-breaking - my favorite. Thanks!
Thank you for the kind words.
Corey, thank you for sharing this. Try to not overthink. (I know, I know!) This is worthy material. It feels like it comes from your heart rather than your head. Maybe it's okay to follow that lead? At any rate, well done!!
Thank you, Elizabeth.
I started writing, bumped the side of the page then realized this was the story that made me fall in love with your writing. So good it HAD to be real.
Your style is how I wish I could write.
I started my comment whining about RA stealing my hands and decided there ARE ways to write without using them!
Look Mom No Hands (dating myself I do believe)
I love your writing so very much & each time I read one I want more before finishing it (like playing n the rain. ; ))
Thank you, Pamela. I appreciate the kind words. Happy you enjoyed the story.
First piece of your fiction I have read. I'm looking forward to reading (some of) the story you've been busily working on.
Thank you.
I like the title. It fits & leaves questions for the reader to answer. The heron as a metaphor.
So when is the publication date? This was so genuine and evocative. Loved every word!
Thank you for the kind words, Kathleen. This is the best story I've ever written so far, but it is not good enough, by my standards, to be officially published (I don't think). I would like to put together a collection of stories someday, and if I ever used any stories from my Substack, I would undoubtedly spend hours revising them. I'm happy you liked it. That makes me happy.
Revise to your heart’s delight - you have a diamond in the rough here. Could be fleshed out into a novel, I think. Totally up to you!
I intend to write another story or two with the same characters. So I will see where that takes me. Who knows?
Wow.
Thank you.
The moment when the dad sews up the jasmine costume made me tear up a bit. Beautiful story.
Thank you, Amelia.
Touching. I am the father of 2 only-child daughters. One is 38 this coming November and the other will be turning 4 the day after Christmas. So, 2 daughters, both 'only children'. Maybe it's that "only" part which makes the relationship between the father and daughter in your story so relatable for me. It is unique, I believe, that flavor of relationship. So sweet and personal, and yet, at the same time, there is this unstated acknowledgement by both that they are very different types of creatures and will always be relating across this gulf. How sweet! How innocent! How profound! We love each other - they speak across the gulf - with all our hearts, and we even trust each other, and still here is this gulf which we will always be reaching across to stay connected. With my 38 year old, I misplayed my hand in some serious ways, and the gulf is sometimes wide as an ocean. With my almost 4 year old, I have hope that I have learned from my misplays.
I spend too much of my time worrying I will “misplay” my hand at some point when my daughter is older. That growing separation scares me, even the organic separation that will happen as she matures.
I've come to think it's not possible to do it without screwing up, given our own conditioning, traumas, and trigger points. In the case of my older daughter, things were relatively easiest between say age 6 and 11 or 12. With adolescence came that organic separation you mention. A push/pull which has never abated.
I believe you're right. I mean, there are too many choices in a day to always make the right call. None of us know what we are doing in life or parenthood. We're all winging it. We learn from our mistakes, hopefully, but new challenges arise daily, hourly. My daughter is near the turning point, on the cusp, and soon will be less interested in me, I fear. Only so much I can do.
Beautiful piece. So much emotion and understanding in spite of (or because of?) the lack of personal experience from the author. I also don't personally relate, so I can't comment on accuracy or realism. But the emotion, the conflict, the universal humanity, within the story is what resonates. Your ability to understand and empathize with non-personal experiences is admirable. I can't wait to read more of your work. Thank you for making this free to read.
Thank you for the generous compliments, Nadia. I'm happy enjoyed it and appreciate your taking the time to read the whole thing.
This is powerful. So beautifully written. Thank you.
Thank you, Emily. I appreciate your taking the time to read it.
Hello Corey, I am not much of a reader, specially fiction(it never interested me) until I saw your title, it got me hooked and i started reading. The more i read, the more i lost my grip on reality, and I couldn't hold my tears. The moment I finished reading, I was frantically going through the comments only to know if it was real,and your reply has given me a sigh of relief. The story felt real, the true mark of a good writer. I wish you a great success in your writing career. I've bookmarked you and I am looking forward to your next work. Fiction indeed is good..
Thank you for reading. I'm happy you gave the story a chance and like it.