An Apology

re: yesterday's post

Illustration By Dall-E

Perhaps an apology isn’t necessary, yet whenever somebody informs me my ideas conflict and that I might be a hypocrite if. . . . Okay, so nobody called me a hypocrite. But I am a hypocrite.

In yesterday’s post, On Reading, I bashed readers who conceive notions and expectations before opening a book. Then I spent the last paragraph reciting what I want or expect from a novel. What a jerk.

Sorry.

Since acknowledging my hypocritical words, I have wondered whether anyone could not build expectations of a book. Even without reading reviews or hearing any opinions regarding the plot and characters, we anticipate something. Don’t we? Or am I just trying to pin my weakness of prematurely judging books on my readers to normalize my behavior, decrease the sting of self-inflicted blame, and bury yesterday’s mendacious words? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

How could I be so careless?

I habitually concentrate on the words and forget to step back and look at a piece. Are these just verbs and nouns strung together with nearly passable grammar to translate incoherent thoughts? Does it make sense? Do I sound like an idiot?

What’s weird is I take the opposite approach in life. I do my best to look at each moment I live from a topographical, third-person point of view. I imagine what others think and feel, how they may interpret my actions and speech, and how they would’ve reacted had I said what was really on my mind.

I need to worry less about turning phrases and more about what I say. I can’t make any promises.

On Reading